Another good friend of mine that I go WAY WAY WAY back with; actually much farther than one might expect. Check this out - my great aunts were his teachers when he was a kid then we met years later. How is that for a small world?

Anyway he sent me an email that I thought was absoluty priceless.

As a 20 year veteran airport customer service agent I am so tired of hearing whining and complaining passengers all day long. If I went on your jobs and acted like many of you do at the ticket counters, in the gate areas and on the planes I would probably be arrested.

First of all, read signs and quit expecting us to treat you like little kids.

• You can't find your way to a bathroom?
• Can't read a boarding pass?
• Act like you are «entitled» to a certain seat on the plane.
  • You don't own the plane you just rent the seat for the duration of the flight, remember that.
• You wanted cheaper fares?
  • Well join the other former Greyhound patrons who are now flying.
• You wonder why that 300lb woman with a handful of teeth and body odour using multiple seatbelt extensions is sitting next to you?
  • She can now afford it, thanks to you.
• You complained when food was served and now you complain that it is not served.
• Can't figure out how to go through security checkpoints?
  • Do you want me to Mapquest it for you?
• Never read any sign anywhere in the airport and then say «nobody told you where to go?»
  • I'll tell you where to go.
• You come with a bad attitude when everything is on time and you're late.
  • What did you want , us to hold the plane for you? You'd be the first one to complain if the flight was held for someone else and is late.
• You get mad when the flights are full and then when the flights are half full, you want us to complimentary place you in first class out of the kindness of our hearts.
  • This is a BUSINESS. The object is to make MONEY!
• Last time I checked this is an airline if you want to move call Van Lines. They are the ones with the trailers. Besides you don't need to bring everything you own for the weekend.

Yes sometimes we do have some attitude.

It is probably due to dealing with some of you idiots who fly today. We are NOT babysitters or Pyschiatrists.

We did not have an «attitude» when we started in this business so I wonder where it came from?

Use some common sense and quit acting stupid. Bring your BRAIN to the airport. You seem to want to bring everything else.

Our pay is downsized and our staff is downsized so guess what, we are not happy campers on the other side of that counter.

Remember that when you ask for the 5th time in 5 minutes when are you going to board the flight...it is still half an hour before departure, for your domestic flight, 50 minutes for your international flight..as it's ALWAYS been.

Oh yeah, contrary to what you might think...WE DO NOT CONTROL THE WEATHER!

The one thing I have to add to this reflects the experience I had this last pairing. It was the last leg on the last day of a 4 day pairing. I am securing the cabin for take off and I had a bit of an «experience» with the «gentleman» sitting on the aisle of the over-wing emergency exit row.

He had is back pack out under his feet, not stowed all the way under the seat infront of him like he had been instructed 3 times already to do so, through the various announcements we had already made.

I gave him his options, either all the way under the seat, which is required in all rows, however; the emergency exit row has extra requirements that must be adhered to as to maintain that as a viable exit should we need to evacuate.

His options were to either stow the bag completely under the seat as to not impede the aisle or stow it in the overhead compartment for taxi, take off and landing.

His reply, «I don't want my computer bouncing around in the overhead bin!»

OK dude, like you are the ONLY person that has ever brought a laptop on the aircraft you fucking dimwit!

My reply, «I can appreciate that; however, there is no room to move on this issue, we can either stow it completely under the seat or in the overhead bin. Regardless of where you are seated this is a requirement.»

He continued to argue with me stating that it was just fine where it was. I took my pinky finger and grabbed the handle and freely lifted the back pack from where it was sitting and stated «this is clearly not secure.»

He pushed me and grabbed the back pack and put it in the overhead bin, which just happened to be full of blankets.

Fuck I hope those blankets don't bash up his laptop too badly.

Just a reminder, Flight Attendants are there for your SAFETY first, not to wipe your asses!

And one point to make here - this guy is sure lucky he wasn't on an American carrier in the States, he'd be hauled off that aircraft in handcuffs for failure to follow the instructions of flight crew.

When it comes to me I will not sway one way or the other on safety issues. It is black and white and that is it PERIOD. You will follow my instructions or you will face the consequences. If you block my only exit off that aircraft I will haunt your ass for all eternity!