I just read something and right now my head is spinning, I am appalled, disgusted and unable to comprehend this sense of logic.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of the following twit of someone I thought was pretty cool and that I follow….
Tonight is my last night in an apartment…I really need to clean up, find my keys, & psych myself into finding a spot on the streets Friday
Immediately I sent a message back to ask for clarification and this is the response I received…
I will LITERALLY be living in the streets of SF to save for @NicksTuck. Details: http://bit.ly/NickIsFat
Take a moment and read his post…before continuing on with my post here; just so you can get some background….
OK I am not sure if I am standing on a soap box here or not but you might want to put your seatbelt on, and as always comment, comment, comment let’s discuss this either here or over there on Nick’s site.
I really want to know what my readers think…
When I was with my Ex I was very happy in the relationship but lived a very sedentary lifestyle. I worked from home and became very obsessed and focused on the work I did.
I would wake up with my partner when he got up to go for work, he would get ready, we would drink coffee and such and then he would leave.
Well I would keep drinking coffee and sit down at my computer and get “tunnel vision” and just work, work and yes you guessed it work, all the while drinking coffee all day.
Not only would I forget to eat but caffeine is an appetite suppressant as well as a stimulant so I would just keep on plugging away….until my partner got home.
By this time I would be STARVING and since I did most of the cooking, never really learned how to cook for only 2 people but more adept at cooking for 6 I would cook way too much food.
Then my partner and I would sit on the couch, watch a couple hours of TV and then go to bed.
Now you are probably asking yourself why I let it slip.
Here is the reason, I didn’t feel any different as I was packing on the pounds, plus this man » 03 that I saw as the hottest and sexiest man, was into me and all over me and we were having hot, amazing, exhausting sex!
Coupled with that the fact that we only had 1 mirror in the apartment, a mirror over the bathroom sink, so I only saw myself from the top of my head to just above my nipples. I never saw what I really looked like from head to toe.
I could still see my dick so I didn’t think I was gaining weight…well OK yes I had to buy bigger pants but I did not see a huge difference.
Then one weekend my partner and I went away for the weekend and stayed at a hotel and my world came to a crashing halt.
The first morning we were there I hopped in the shower completely oblivious to the HUGE mirror that was on the wall…
UNTIL I got out of the shower and reached for a towel and I saw how HUGE I had become.
I stood there in shock, time stood still and I went completely numb…until…
I threw up.
I was so disgusted and shocked by what I saw that I become sick to my stomach.
I looked down in horror and saw the numbers 310 flashing back at me!
310 pounds! I just about passed out.
Shortly after that I started my new career and because of this my eating habits were forcibly changed and I was moving more.
In a matter of 3 months I dropped 60lbs without even doing anything other than trying to grab a mouthful of something while at work and running my ass off on the air craft.
I ended up at a plateau of 240lbs and dropped a couple of inches of the waist size and had to buy myself some more clothes, all the while feeling better…I was pretty happy but still self-conscious of my appearance.
Fast forward some and I had the misfortune of getting very severe cases of food poisoning, back to back, and that helped me drop another 20lbs.
Not the best way to do it but I started to look better and feel EVEN better and gained some self confidence.
Then I met a dude that was big into water polo and he and I would go swimming every day and do his work out routine in the pool. He had a bit of convincing to do to get me to wear a bathing suit in the pool at my building but I did it and am so glad I did.
I became addicted to swimming and would go 2 times a day whether he was there or not.
I felt good! But then winter hit and I stopped.
For those of you that follow me on Twitter and have read the past couple of days you know that I have started jogging daily.
If you had told me a few months ago, never mind a year ago, that I would be jogging every day, I would have told you that you were a nut case and needed to be committed.
I have never been shy from physical exertion I have been shy of looking like an idiot or failing. I do not want to look like a fool.
Some how I managed to get over that with jogging, In the past 2 weeks I have learned that firstly I need patience and secondly what I am capable of doing right now is doing the trick and I am seeing the results from that and continue to be encouraged.
So this brings me to my response to Nick’s post.
I am unable to comprehend this level of drastic behaviour. There are sacrifices I am and have been willing to make but this one takes the cake.
I also can’t respect the approach Nick has taken, like we are supposed to feel something for him. This was a conscious decision he made, as unfounded as we think it is, he made it, deal with it Nick.
I can not see Nick truly finding his happy space from this endeavour, and even if he is self satisfied with his final appearance, will he be able to realise what he lost to achieve that “look”.
I can not help to think it will be an empty space. A let down.
But I am very much open to being proven wrong so bring it on Nick.
If I think about it, or see a message pop up I will read it but I won’t be actively following it.
If Nick reads this I invite him to keep adding comments on his progress…would be interesting to see if he feels he made the right decision.
Right now I can’t help but think that there are other people out there that have worse problems and this is so trivial…
I added my photo to be sure that NO ONE gave me grief for hiding. I am proud of my accomplishment but still not comfortable with the image that I want to have, what is my main motivation? HEALTH!
I was talking to one of my closest friends, Brad T, about jogging everyday and he is a little hottie gym bunny, and I mentioned that I noticed that my belly was jiggling more while I ran. He took it as I was being hard on myself and he actually said to me, “Dude you need to give yourself more credit!“
I do give myself credit. The reason my belly jiggles more because there is less fat and the skin needs to retract…hopefully it happens as fast as I want it to but this brings me back to being patient…
I am looking forward to hitting the gym as soon as my shoulder heals so I can then bulk up and fill out that skin and look more like this hot hunk of man….
Here Are the Foot Notes…
Don’t forget to go back up and keep reading….